The Inanity of Baseball Announcers

Blitz Magazine

I’m a baseball fan. I don’t have time to closely follow the regular season, but I’m there for the play-offs and, of course, the World Series. But the coverage that FOX has provided for the past two years has made the experience almost unbearable.

Major League Baseball has a big problem—it is failing to capture the crucial demographic of 14-18. If there’s going to be a future for baseball, those kids have to love the game. Are those kids going to be lured away from gaming by bad sports coverage? Nope.

And the coverage is bad. Instead of focusing on the game currently being played, FOX zips back and forth the between the game currently being played and a half dozen previous games. Or, my favourite: The home team is down by one, 9th inning, 2 out, bases loaded, a full count on the batter. And FOX decides that this is a good time to check with another game to see how it’s going.

The announcers make me what to fling myself off a bridge. Here are some direct quotes—no exaggeration:

 “His favourite show is The Simpsons.”

 “He grew up poor. Had to get a job at 13.”

 “There was a purpose for the reason that he threw that breaking ball.”

 “Did you know that both of his parents have diabetes?”

 “He’s a great catcher because he grew up with four sisters and they all played tennis.”

 And these guys will not stop talking. They drone on and on and on, their trotting lips spewing endless inanities, senseless pieces of the most useless trivia. They add nothing to viewer knowledge, they do not enhance viewer enjoyment—they give everyone a headache. Most importantly, they ruin the game.

Note to FOX: Please stop paying your announcers by the syllable.